CHAPTER 7 ~ DISILLUSION

ONE YEAR FOUR MONTHS AFTER BANISHMENT

“No, get your sword up! That’s it! Never drop it, unless you want your enemy to think he has an advantage, and then only fake a drop,” I commanded as I struck Travon’s sword again.

“Easy for you to say!” The youth muttered, blocking my attack. He ran his sword up mine and swept it down trying to cut across my middle.

I stepped back and let the swing pass, before attacking his side. I stopped before my sword could cut him. I smiled amused at the thundercloud on his face.

“You have improved again,” I remarked.

“I lost again,” he muttered darkly.

I nodded, “Next time try thinking before you start swinging.”

“I will beat you.”

“One day, maybe,” I responded and laughed when he growled.

He had actually had improved and it was getting more rare that he attacked me out of pure anger. He usually thought first, but I only had to push a few buttons to get him to make a mistake. However, his tactics challenged me more than I would let him know. I was correct that training the kid would help me. I had gotten into better shape since I had stated training again and that alone mad it worth it. Beating the kid up was an advantage too.

“Aiden, Ricald is yelling all over camp for you!” Jaton stumbled into our training session.

Travon sighed. “How long this time?”

“Who knows,” I muttered. Over the past six months Ricald had sent me out on one stupid mission after another. I was required to do all different jobs, sometimes it was to kill someone, or kidnapping, perhaps spying, it didn’t seem to matter to him. After my mission, usually the place I had gone too was wiped off the map. It was a routine I still saw little point in, but for now I followed it. I didn’t really have a choice, since I was under Ricald’s control.

“You better get moving,” Jaton pressed.

I nodded, sheaved my sword, and headed back to the camp. Soldiers were going out of their way to avoid the space around the captain’s tent. It must be bad. I approached slowly.

“Captain?” I called.

“Aiden, get in here!” His voice was not pleasant.

I entered to find the captain staring down at a map and muttering to himself. He didn’t bother to look up at my entrance.

“Go to this section,” he pointed to a small town about four leagues from where we were. “Your going to meet with a woman. She’s dark and ugly. She’ll give you a communication to bring back to me.”

“What is it?” I asked, only because I was expected too.

His dark eyes came up to meet mine. “You don’t need to know.”

I shrugged, “I’m carrying it.”

“Yes, and you will bring it to me immediately. You know the consequences for failure.”

I had never dealt with those consequences. It was why he used me so much. I never failed.

“Why are you still here?” He spat.

I gazed at him steadily and then turned and walked out. He didn’t control me…. not fully, anyway. He liked to think he did and I followed his orders, but only for now. I was quickly tiring of his constant pointless missions. Eventually, I was going to stop and he was going to have to deal. I was only using him for two reasons. One was to help me learn and the second was to keep Zoe off my back while I did. Zoe was still around far too often and I was starting to learn less and less. The kid Travon was teaching me more than Ricald’s stupid war. I needed out of the cycle.

***

ONE YEAR SEVEN MONTHS AFTER BANISHMENT

“Aiden! Knock it off!” Zoe screamed.

“Zoe, get out of here!” I yelled back, as my sword cut the soldier in front of me in half.

“No! Stop it!” She yelled at me again.

“What is your problem? You want them to kill me?” I yelled back as another soldier attacked.

“No! But this isn’t right!” She exclaimed, her green eyes flashing dangerously.

“It’s a blasted war, Zoe!” I had to stop putting her back in her place, in order to kill the newest soldier trying to take me out. I put him out of his misery quickly and looked around.

The battle had started early that morning, but the sun was starting to sink now. Bodies were everywhere and they came from both sides of the field. It was impossible to tell who was winning the fight, but then since I wasn’t positive what that battle was about, I wasn’t sure that mattered either. At least we were fighting the opposite army for a change. Not that it seemed to matter to Zoe, whose apparition had appeared a few minutes after the battle had started.

“Just because it’s a war doesn’t make it right.” She was back.

I glanced up at her. She seemed to enjoy hovering off the ground just above me, forcing me to look up if I wanted to actually see her face. More than often, I didn’t. She was supposed to go away when I joined Ricald’s troops. Instead, she was as persistent and annoying as ever. I just couldn’t figure out why.

“Look, people fight, people die, I have a contract saying this is what I’m suppose to do!”

“You’re making excuses and they aren’t even good ones.”

“Argh!” I growled frustrated.

“You don’t even know why your fighting!” She accused.

“How do you know that?” I asked. It was a stupid question.

“I’m in your head!” She exclaimed in a ‘oh come on, stupid’ voice.

“Well, get out!” I commanded.

“Get off the field!” She responded.

“I have a job to do, Zoe! I’m not going anywhere.” I replied.

“You don’t have a reason to be here,” Zoe said, her voice eerily calm now.

“I have a contract I have to fulfill. It’s reason enough.” I stepped over a body to get back into the fray.

“A contract you made only to give yourself an excuse to kill people. You still don’t know who your killing!” She accused harshly, as she followed. “You promised that would end with little Emma, but you did it again! Your ruthless now!” I cut another soldier down mercilessly, my anger at my talking shadow growing. “You don’t even pause when you kill! You don’t know their reason for fighting! How do you even know you are on the right side?”

I swung around to face my accuser. Rage filling me. I was tired of the questions, tired of the accusations. What right did anyone have to question my actions? I was doing what I needed too. It was vital that I acquire the skills of fighting more than one person at a time. Soldiers coming from everywhere focused my attention. I had to have this! I was right to do this! No one should question that! No one! My thoughts were focused, but full of rage as I raised my sword and then stopped dead.

Zoe’s green eyes stared into mine. They held no malice, no pain, only a look of something I had forgotten long ago. Compassion maybe?

“You would kill me, Aiden, your own sister? Have you destroyed your own soul so much that even I no longer mean anything to you?” Her voice was soft and steady, and it drove daggers of pain through my heart.

I wanted to answer her, to face her accusations, but I couldn’t find any words. Zoe had enough for both of us.

“What have you done to yourself, Aiden? Do you even know who you are anymore? If any of our siblings saw you, I bet we wouldn’t know you at all.”

Probably not, but hadn’t I purposefully kept myself from them? Wren had long ago figured out a way for us to communicate with each other, but I never contacted them. I also received very few letters and I never mentioned my own circumstances when I replied. It wasn’t their right to know, or their problem. My duty was to help them, not the other way around. Still, I was seeing each of them in more and more people that I met.

“And what will you do with him?” Zoe asked, bringing my mind back to her presence.

“Who?”

“Travon. Will you bring him into this world you created? Will you force him to battle the side his village gave their lives for? That’s what you are planning, right? To train him for battle… these battles.” She swept her hand around to indicated the battlefield.

The battle itself had long ago moved ahead of us. I had failed to catch up to it. Instead, I stood among the littered bodies from both sides. I had been training Travon for this. I did fully intend to bring him into battle. How would he feel fighting against those he once fought for?

“Look where your new life has brought you…. Your lessons. To a place where you would kill your own sister. If you kill me, Adien, when you defeat Duard, how will you bring us back together?” Zoe faded away.

I stood rooted to the spot and staring at where my little sister had been. I couldn’t process my thoughts. When had she become so… what was the correct word, wise? But if she was wise, was she also correct? And if that was true, was I wrong? But about what part?

Then one thought surfaced above all others, drowning out the rest, and knocking me to my knees hard. Had I really tried to kill Little Firebrand?

***

ONE YEAR TEN MONTHS AFTER BANISHMENT

He stood like a statue, not moving and definitely not defending himself. If the kid stood still much longer, he would be on the ground just as stiff, but nowhere near as alive. I slashed another soldier and made my way towards him. I could see a rather angry looking solider bearing down on Travon. Panic hit me, I wasn’t sure if he would defend himself or if I would reach him in time.

The solider was closing fast, too fast. I jumped over a body and kept going. Travon had yet to lift his sword. I wanted to yell at him, but I needed my breath to run, besides he could clearly see the solider coming straight at him. Or at least, he had never seemed like he was blind before this point. At the last second, Travon raised his sword and blocked the blow that would have split him in half. Their swords clanged as they knocked together and slide off of one another. The opposing soldier raised his sword again for a second attack. Travon didn’t move. Just as his sword was coming down, I arrived between them and my own sword mad e a clean cut into the soldier’s stomach.

“No!” Travon shouted desperately.

But it was too late. The blood gurgled from the man’s stomach and he fell onto the ground, instantly dead. I turned to look at Travon but he was staring helplessly at the fallen soldier.

“Have you lost all thought?” I yelled. “He was going to kill you! Why didn’t you fight?”

“I couldn’t,” Traovn whispered. “I couldn’t kill my brothers.”

My body reeled from the sudden shock it felt. Wren, Taerith, Ilara, Aquila, Arnan, Daelia, Sam, and Zoe’s faces each floated before me as I had last seen them when we parted ways. I had betrayed them all again.

“They aren’t your brothers and sisters,” I heard my own voice speak.

“My countrymen. That’s the same,” Travon answered quietly, as he bent down to close the eyes of the dead soldier.

I nodded, still lost in feelings and thoughts I couldn’t explain. I swallowed hard and tried to make sense of what was happening. Finally, a single idea came to me. “Run.”

Travon looked up at my whispered word. “What?”

“If you want to run away, now would be your chance. No one will miss you in the confusion. You can return to your countrymen.”

Travon looked at me as if I lost my mind. Perhaps I had, I wasn’t fully aware of what I was telling him. But I knew it had been wrong for Ricald to force him to come into this battle. Travon had been given an ultimatum, battle or a slave. “I warn you though, you can escape now, but if you are ever caught again, there will be no mercy. Ricald will kill you on sight.”

“And you?” Travon asked, his eyes looking off to where the major part of the battle was happing on the left of us.

“He’ll be angry and he will deal,” I replied more calmly than I felt, my emotions still entangled with my siblings.

Travon nodded slowly, then looked straight into my eyes. “I’ll stay with you.”

I hadn’t expected that. Travon had no real reason to want to stay with me, but I felt myself nodded as if I had expected nothing else.

“Let’s get out of here,” I said finally.

Together we turned and walked back to camp, leaving the army’s fighting behind us.

***