CHAPTER 8 ~ DEUS TALK

ONE YEAR ELEVEN MONTHS AFTER BANISHMENT

Each passing day seemed to make the camp more stifling and me more restless. Nothing could satisfy me. I was in more fights with those supposedly on my side than I was with the enemy. It hadn’t taken long for the others to learn to stay away. Only Jaton and Travon dared to come close to me and they were the only ones who brought my summonings from Ricald. He sent more out with varying frequencies, but he seemed to be getting the idea I was a loose wild horse in his camp. He’d punish me, if he could figure out how. He had tried a few things, but they were nothing compared to what Duard use to do to my siblings and I, so I barley noticed he was trying to punish me until it was almost over. The fact angered Ricald, but it only amused me. I wanted out of the contract now and out of the army. But perhaps, that was Ricald’s ultimate revenge r punishment, not giving me the one thing I wanted. So instead we stayed locked in a stalemate. It was most annoying. My only comfort were the long walks I took in the woods, when nothing bothered to disturb me.

“Aiden!”

Almost nothing. I turned to glare at Travon who was making his way towards me. He gave me a smile as he stopped at my side.

“Hi!”

“What?” I asked abruptly.

“Nothing. I jut figured I’d walk with you,” Travon replied raising his hands as in surrender or innocence, which this boy never was.

“Chores?” I asked instead

“Tons! Ricald thinks he’s gonna punish you be me! It’s not fair!” Travon whined.

He had been given a five slaves share of the work load around camp. Ricald seemed to think it was amusing to watch the kid hop from one meaningless task to another.

A loud screech from above caused us both to look up. A falcon circled high overhead. It’s circles were small and it spiraled downward with each one.

“Whoa!” Travon exclaimed in a low voice, fascinated with the bird.

I was far less fascinated. I cold think of only one reason a falcon would circle above me. It had to be one of Wren’s birds. I had had relatively little contact with any of my siblings. Although, I knew Wren had sent out letters to each of us, and some if not all had replied back. Each letter sent was another slap in Duard’s face and for that reason alone, I wished my siblings would consider to send out their letters. But relatively few came to me. Wren had written to me once and had sent Gavin to delivery her letter. The experience with the ornery falcon had not been a pleasant one.

I watched silently as the bird came in closer and landed in about seven feet or so in front of us. The bird was gray-brown. I was quickly in a bad mood. Gaven was white. There were only two white birds. There were three gray and brown birds. This was going to take some time.

“Amazing!” Travon said, his brown eyes never leaving the falcon.

I wasn’t really listening. The only birds who acted like this belonged to Wren. That meant one of my siblings had written me and if I wanted to find out who and why I had to get close to the bird. Not a task I relealsihed.

“Name plate, Wren. I told you to put a name plate on the blasted creatures,” I muttered. There were three gray-brown ones, my problem was I could only remember two names. And if my luck held out as usual, it wasn’t either of them.

“Shea? Keaton?” I called anyways.

Travon gave me an odd look. “Are you trying to talk to it?”

“You wanna live, keep the trap shut,” I warned. Travon’s mouth closed instantly, though he watched me intently. The bird didn’t move, but I could have sworn it looked amused. There was no way I was going to remember the things name.

“Rabbit, I need rabbit,” I said, half to myself.

“Like this?” Travon pulled some strips of meat from the pouch at his waist. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he calmly replied, “Been saving them. Ricald’s been stingy with food.”

I shook my head and grabbed the strips. Squatting down I held them out to the bird, “Okay, boy, come get some. Whichever one sent you wasn’t from around here, you’ve got to be hungry.”

The bird looked at me as if weighing its options.

“Look, Screecher, this is a limited time offer here.”

Travon laughed, but stopped quickly when I glared at him.

The bird wanted more information. I sighed. His name wasn’t one of the familiar ones. It was something a little odd. I concentrated on watching Wren with each of her precious birds.

“They are each important, Aiden, even if you refuse to admit it,” Wren said sweetly.

“If you say so, Wren,” I replied, humoring her.

She shook her head at me, “One day you are going to wish you paid better attention to them, Aiden.”

I groaned now. The girl had an uncanny knack for being right about me. She had been stroking a bird when that conversation had taken place. Now, that I thought about it, it had been this bird and at some point she had used his name. I watched the falcon as I waited for the information to come. He was looking at the meat intensely and I waved it slightly to make it look more inviting. Travon was going to hold the bird while I penned my reply. This was not happening again.

Myrddin.

The name suddenly popped into my mind.

Myrddin,” I called calmly. “Come on, you want the meat and I want the letter. Come here.”

Just like that the bird hopped willingly over. I hated these stupid creatures. Why couldn’t we use something more reliable, like a dragon or unicorn or griffin, anything besides the birds! .As it grabbed the meat I took the letter attached to its little leg.

“How did you…” Travon started.

“Grab the stupid beast and hold him,” I muttered unfolding the letter and settled down to read. Travon looked at the bird suspiciously.

Dear Brother,

Let me say first that I am well and pray you are as well. I am writing this letter to you in the middle of the night because I could wait no longer. This very night I was woken by a dream of our childhood; of the time shortly after the death of our father and mother, when you, already so old for your years, refused to show your sorrow. I remember this because I was angry with you, thinking you cared nothing about our parents. Taerith wisely responded to my anger by telling me gently, "He may bury his feelings deep inside, but he cannot hide the pain I see in his eyes."

Aiden, ever since we were young, you have been the one to make sure the faith of our parents did not die from among us. I know you have not believed for yourself since a long time past, but you, nonetheless, saw to it that I did. You encouraged me to believe in Deus, though you yourself knew not what you believed. For this I feel both gratitude and sorrow. Over these many months apart, I have thought much over our years together in Braedoch and have come to realize my own failure in returning your encouragement. I did not fight to keep the faith alive inside of you as you did for me. I have failed you, Aiden, and for this I ask your forgiveness.

In my dream, as the memories of our childhood faded, I saw you as you look now, standing in a strange place, I know not where. I could see none of your face, only your eyes; and in your eyes I saw pain. Not only pain, but terror. I know not what this dream means nor that it will mean anything sensible to you when you read of it; only that it compelled me to write this letter. I pray for you daily, knowing that the One whom I serve has preserved me, as I trust he preserves you. I live for the day when we might see one another again.

May you know peace, and the love of your affectionate sister,

Daelia

Daelia. The eldest of my sisters. Her woodcraft was legendary in the family, but more so was her caring nature and her need too look after her younger siblings. She had baked bread until the kitchen had overflowed the day before our final departure and separation. It was her final gift to each of us. I had forgotten about her special gift though. So, she had seen the terror in my eyes?

Yeah, I knew all too well what she meant. I had felt that terror everyday since I had turned on Zoe. I read Daelia’s last line again. I live for the day when we might see one another again. Would she feel the same why if she knew what I had almost done, what I had become? Together, Daelia and I had taught the others how to use weapons, but we had never trained them for doing what I did. Cold blooded murder. Their faith in God would always stop them from crossing that line. The faith that Daelia admitted, I had worked so hard to make sure they each had. But when had Daliea figured out I didn’t believe? As far as I knew, only Wren and Zoe, perhaps Taerith, understood that truth. What else had my younger sibling guessed at?

It didn’t matter any longer, once again I had betrayed her. She was in pain, because she thought I was. The guilt washed over me again, almost to strong to handle. She said she was okay, but was she really? Where was my eldest sister? What had happened to her? The dream of me had disturbed her so much that she had to write to me in a frantic way. Whatever she was going through she did not need to be worried about me. I could take care of myself.

Can you?

The voice was unbidden and I was startled to hear it.

What?

Can you take care of yourself?

Yes.

It does not seem to have worked so far. The voice was gentle, but no less firm.

Zoe? I questioned. She had been the only voice I had heard over the long time since our separation. But Zoe’s apparition quickly appeared in front of me, yet far away, and shook her head no. “But maybe you should listen,” she said quietly.

“I know who this is,” I growled. “Leave me alone! I want nothing to do with you!”

Are you so sure?

Of course! You are not needed or wanted in my life! Get out!

Ah, now though you admit I am here.

What? For as long as I could remember I had taught my family that Dues was a real God who would take care of them and listen to them and for just as long I had not believed it. I wasn’t even sure he existed at all, but if by some minor miracle he did, he didn’t care about any of us.

But I do exist and, you have tried to deny it, but you are not able too.

Even if that were true, you have never cared.

Step by step, Aiden. Step by step.

Perhaps, but were they steps I wanted to take?

Screech! “Ow!” The noises brought my head up quickly. Myrddin was taking flight from Travon’s forearm, which had no protection.

“Have you lost it?” I yelled. “You can’t let a falcon land on you without protection!”

“It hurts!” Travon cried.

“Am I suppose to be surprised? Of course it hurts!” I pulled out a dagger and cut a strip off of Travon’s shirt. Carefully, I wrapped it around his bruised and scrapped arm. He wouldn’t be suing it for a little while, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

“I don’t like falcon’s anymore,” he muttered.

“Neither do I. Now keep an eye on him while I write this letter.”

Travon glared at me first then at the bird. I left him to ponder different ways to kill Myrddin, while I pulled out my charcoal and turned Daelia’s letter over.

Daelia,

I can’t forgive when you didn’t make an error. I am fine, do not waste time worrying over me. You will help me best by taking care of yourself. Contuie to trust the God who preserves you. Stay strong, my sister. I too live for when we will be together. It will happen.

Aiden

Did I really live for the day we would be reunited? I must, that was what I worked so hard to achieve. That was why I needed to kill Duard. But would my family want to be united with me when they saw what I had done to accomplish it? Or was I simply giving myself excuses for my deeds?

I shook the hard thoughts off and looked over at Travon, who was standing a good distance from Myrddin and lecturing the bird loudly. I shook my head at his antics, folded the paper, and walked over to Myrddin. The falcon gave me an impatient look. I ignored it and knelt down, while Travon fell silent.

“I need this to go back to Daelia. Understand, Myrddin? Daelia. Take this to her.”

The falcon hopped over to me and offered me his leg. After I had tied the parchment on, he rose into the air and was soon out of site.

“How…?” Travon’s voice trailed off in wonder.

“I have no idea,” I answered, as I watched the falcon fly to my sister. Whether he returned to Wren or Daelia, she would eventually get the letter. I turned and walked silently back to the camp, deep in thought. Why did it seem like everywhere I turned lately my mindset was being attacked?

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