Wednesday, April 30, 2008

LOL! Because you never comment David, yet I know you read! I want to hear what you think to! So, in honor of your comment, although I am still in Vermont, I have made a special trip onto the internet just to post for you. I hope you enjoy. Oh, and I'm glad Aiden is finally riding Magnar too. It was suppose to happen at some point, the two.. okay just Aiden... just refused to get along!
Ashley, I totally agree about the last chapter. The fact that it has little emotional depth has always bugged me and I will surely be changing that in the rewrite. Thanks for the comment! But don't worry, Michelle, I'll make sure the last line stays in tact! I'm glad you connected so well with it!
Britt, we have a couple ideas on how we are going to pull that part off. Believe me, whatever we decide, you will not want to miss it!
LOL. Short but sweet. Thanks for the comment Kirk! I hope you didn't have to wait too long! Be sure to thank David for that!
And now.. Kristalyn is determined to dig into Aiden's past, Egan is well being Egan, and who is this person in battle... could it be.. yes, it is....and no. Read to find out! It's on to the show!


CHAPTER 27 ~ MISTAKEN IDENTITY

AIDEN

The fire that night felt good. I hated to admit it would have felt better if I knew where Magnar had gotten himself too. He had wanted to check out the Elangsia army for himself. He was convinced he’d spot Travon among them. It was the hope of a kid, but then just because Magnar was full grown, didn’t mean he didn’t have kid tendencies, a whole lot of them. Whatever, the griffin was fine and after all the travel I was ready for a good long rest.

“How long before Egan gets his proper carcass back here?”

Kristalyn smiled at my description of the stuck up dragon. “I don’t know. It could be by tomorrow night or the next day. It depends on how long it takes him to find Tray.”

I nodded and settled back down. The rabbit had filled my belly quite nicely and for once the accusations of my mind were calm. I was going to get sleep while I could.

“Aiden?”

Argh!

“What?”

“Tell me about Wren.”

I looked at her in surprise. “What?”

“That was your sister who defied Duard, right? Tell me what she’s like.”

“Quiet.” I grunted.

“Me or her?” She asked.

“Kristalyn, you are never quiet,” I muttered.

“That’s not true. But it’s also not what I meant. Do you want me to be quiet or is she quiet?”

“Both of those work,” I answered, closing my eyes again.

“Aiden!”

“What?” I groaned.

“I’m serious.”

So was I. For what had to be the first time since I had left Bradioch Forest, I allowed my mind to concentrate fully on my sister. “She is quiet.” I said the words so low, they almost weren’t even out loud. “She’s practical too and great with her weapons. She can track anything anywhere and her falcons help with that. She’s loyal and trustworthy. Don’t mess with her, she might not like dealing with tons of people, but she knows how too. But Wren’s different. She sees things everyone else misses, especially with me.” Suddenly, her face was vivid before me, with those eyes that saw everything and changed color with her moods. Her tan face and brown hair plated as always down her back and an expression of gentle, understanding, calm. I hadn’t seen her in over two years, almost two and a half now. I hadn’t seen one of her falcons in a long time either. Was she okay? Would her falcons know to find me if she needed help?

“She sounds amazing,” Kristalyn commented.

I blinked, waking myself up and nodded. “She is.”

“Are all you siblings like that?”

I laughed. “No. They were…are all very unique.”

“You miss them like I miss Tray, don’t you?”

I paused and looked at her. Did I miss them that much? I hardly ever let myself think about them. Could I really miss them then? I shrugged and didn’t answer.

“Why did your guardian split you up?”

“Because he is a fool!” I answered harshly, not wanting to discuss Duard in any way.

Kristalyn nodded and threw a few more sticks, that weren’t really needed, into the fire. At least the quiz was over. Maybe now I could get some sleep.

A huge shadow crossed me and the ground shook when it landed. Magnar screeched into my face excitedly. I howled and grabbed my ears.

“Back up you idiot! Quite screeching at me!” I tried to sit up, but the griffin was shaking with excitement and I couldn’t move. “Magnar, back up now!” I yelled the command.

The griffin backed up quickly and sat down with a humph. He was back on his feet in seconds and screeching again. I could hear words laced in, but he was talking far to fast for me to even attempt to follow.

“Slow down,” I groaned and finally sat up. “Okay, what has you tied in knots of energy?”

“Travon!” The screech was clear this time.

“What?” I heard myself asking anyways. Travon was not supposed to be anywhere close to here. He was supposed to be safe. Somewhere far away and safe. “You must be seeing things.”

The griffin growled low in his throat exactly what he thought about that idea.

“Okay, okay.” I sighed. I was going to have to hear this one out. If Travon was out there, I needed to know. Never mind why I needed to, I just did. “Explain slowly.”

Magnar cocked his head at me and waited. For being so excited to tell me, he was taking his time now. I crossed my arms, ready to wait him out, when Kristalyn shifted behind Magnar. Words. Magnar needed to tell me in words and he couldn’t with Kristalyn able to hear. He needed me to give him permission to either speak with her there or we’d have to move away. I groaned again. I had no wish to move anywhere, but I wasn’t ready to give Kristalyn Magnar’s secret either. Not just yet at any rate.

“All right. Let’s go for a ride. You need to get out all that excess energy anyway.”

The griffin was shaking again.

He howled his agreement and waited for me to climb on. I did so swiftly and he took off. I would never get use to the sensation of flying. The sky everything impossible on the earth suddenly seemed possible. The wind and freedom of the sky allowed every constraint from the world below to be left behind. It was a feeling I had come to appreciate greatly.

Magnar slowed his free wheeling in order to make his words heard.

“Travon I saw. Captive in Elangsia’s army he is. Rescue him we must.”

“Magnar, how close were you? Are you sure it is him?”

The griffin snorted. “Sure, I am.”

“Well, did he look like he could escape?” I had no wish to take on all of Elangsia’s army for one boy. Even if it was Travon.

“No. Aiden, rescue him we must.”

He was right. I just didn’t want to admit it. I had trained the kid and pretty much told him to spy on the enemy. If he was captured, it was my fault the kid had stuck around. I didn’t need that on my shoulders. I had too much else I had to deal with already.

“Where was he exactly?”

“Middle stocks he is in.”

“They have him in stocks?” I questioned, my voice going hard. What had he done to deserve that? “Look, Magnar, we’ll go in after him, but you have to tell me exactly what the arrangement is.”

We discussed things for a while, before we landed back at the camp, both exhausted. Kristalyn sat up from where she had been lying next to the fire. I dropped down to the ground as Kurioden got padded over to Magnar to converse.

“What is it?” Kristalyn asked, her tone worried.

“Travon is being held captive in Elangsia’s army. Magnar and I need to get him out.”

“Wait, wait. Slow down. Who? Isn’t that the name you asked the assassin about?”

“Travon is a kid from one of the villages Ricald ransacked. He’s the only survivor. He joined our camp under my protection and I was training him for a while. When I left, he stayed behind to spy on Ricald. I don’t know what he’s doing with the army, but Magnar is convinced, which means there’s no peace until I know for sure it’s not Travon or we get him out.”

“How long did Magnar stay with the army?”

“Until they camped.”

“How close?”

“Close enough. The battle can start in a day if they want it too.”

Kristalyn sighed. “I don’t know what Tray wants yet.”

“Since when do you require your brother’s permission for every move you make? I seem to recall you keeping him in the dark an awful lot in Ruma. In fact, you still are.”

She shook her head. “It’s not that. I just don’t like running on incomplete information. Tray would be able to give us more facts. When do you want to go after Travon?”

“It would be easier to get him after the battle has started, although, its not necessary. Magnar is going to be impossible until we leave.”

“What if you could wait until Egan comes back with Tray’s message? I’ll go with you then.”

I looked at her in surprise. “Why?”

“You might need the help. Magnar can’t go in with you, although if you wait until the battle starts he might be some help. He’s a pretty effective distraction,” her voice held amusement.

I had no wish to be reminded of the final time I had attempted to murder her brother. “That still doesn’t tell me why you want to come. It’s no concern of yours. Shouldn’t you be more worried about your country’s fight?”

She said nothing for a moment and then spoke softly, “Not at the moment.”

I couldn’t see her face, but I didn’t need that to read her. There was more she wasn’t telling me and it had to do with me and I was pretty sure I knew what. “Worried about me, are you?”

“Should I be?” Her voice was stronger now, but it still held the trace of concern from earlier.

“You’re the one who cares, Kristalyn. You have to answer that.” I said calmly, knowing there was no hint of teasing in my voice. I laid down on my bed.

“What… what’s that supposed to mean?” She asked, quickly.

I laughed. “Figure it out, Kristalyn. Goodnight.”

***

Magnar spent most of the morning pacing back and fourth like a caged lion. Occasionally he’d let out a frustrated growl, but for the most part he screeched to himself and paced. It wasn’t long before I had lost all patience, not that I had any to begin with. While Kristalyn erased all traces of the camp, I headed over to the huge griffen. Either I was going to calm him or kill him. I hadn’t quite decided yet.

“Magnar, knock it off! He’s survived this long, he’ll be fine.”

“We wait, why?” Magnar growled at me, ignoring me instructions completely.

“In the chaos of the battle it will be easy to get close and get him out.”

“Take them now, we can.” Magnar insisted.

“Sure, but I’m not risking my neck if I don’t have too.”

Magnar snorted. “Since when?”

“Since now,” I responded tightly.

It was one thing to fight to gain more skill, but I already knew that I could remain untouched in a battle of many. I needed different challenges. The problem was, now that I had let the Hunter go, I had no idea what that looked like. I was floundering and I hated it. For the first time, it seemed like I had no mission, no way to turn to make myself better. I still had to get stronger, but I didn’t know how any more. Fighting Kristalyn’s war was just an excuse to keep moving. I had joined to fight against Ricald, the Hunter’s Duard, but I had no illusions I would meet him in a battle this large. So, why was I still staying?

“Come.” Magnar spoke, interrupting my thoughts.

“Where are we going?”

“To check,” he responded.

“On the Elangsians? Why?”

“Bored and crazy,” the griffin miffed.

I laughed out loud. “Who, you or me? All right, let’s go.”

I climbed onto his back and together we soared up past the tree canopy. From so high up, both armies looked like miniature toys and the space between that was closing rapidly. Tomorrow, there would be a battle.

***

KRISTALYN

I watched as Aiden and Magnar soared out of sight above the tree tops. I wasn’t sure where they were headed, but as far as I was concerned anywhere was good. They two had both been making me crazy with their restlessness. They were too use to action all the time. In war, the waiting was always with you. ‘Hurry up and wait’ was the mandate of such times. Hurry to get the army ready, wait for the battle to begin. It was never easy.

I wondered how my brother and the men were faring. He would be preparing them all. He was never good at speeches, but he could inspire anybody to follow him and he did. If the battle started even tomorrow, my friends would be following my brother possibly to death. It wasn’t a pleasant thought, but then war never was.

I shook my head to shake off the dismal thoughts and concentrated on the meat. I was pulling the last of it out, before I shut down the fire. I wanted to be ready to leave within a seconds notice. I glanced up at the sky. Of course, that would be more difficult if Aiden and Magnar were still out joy riding.

Instead of Magnar’s golden brown wings, I spotted a small spot of blue clacking its way towards me. Egan had returned. I grinned and felt my heart start to thump wildly. He brought with him news of my brother!

I raced my arm and the dragon landed gracefully on it. His coat turning a deep blue, almost black.

“Uh oh, did it not go well? Where is Tray? Is he all right? Did you find him?”

Hmph! The small dragon sniffed.

“Egan! This is my brother we are talking about! Stop being so stuck up and tell me what’s happening!”

Trouble, trouble, trouble. The dragon grumbled.

“Trouble? What kind of trouble? Is Tancred okay?”

No, me! The dragon reared his head to look at me pointedly.

“You? I don’t understand. Explain from the beginning please.”

With that permission, Egan launched into a very vivid description of just how much trouble and pain I had caused him with Tray and how I should be very sorry. It was complete with clacks, sighs of torture, and any other manner of outrageous emotion Egan could manage to fit in. I listened, unsure of just how amused I was supposed to be.

“Okay, let me get this straight. Tray didn’t give you enough time to eat and it’s my fault he’s mad at you because you lied, which I told you not to do, and told him I was in Mairbrac freeing slaves?”

Egan nodded once.

“Egan!” I exclaimed. “Did you honestly think he was going to believe that! Of course, he knows you lied to him! Oh, what he must think of me now.”

Egan huffed his opinion of both Tancred and myself, neither of which was flattering, and settled around my shoulders. His gray blue scales told me he was lying about his opinion of us, but it made him feel better to spout about something at the moment.

“Did he give you instructions for me?” I finally asked.

Egan was silent for a long moment, before finally sniffing importantly and clacking out a series of instructions. I listened closely, hardly believing what I was hearing.

“Ricald went to join the Wild Men north of us? That means he’s bringing them here and my job is to stop them,” I summed up, out loud.

Egan clacked harshly again.

“Yeah, I heard you. In any way I can. Aiden will love the challenge of harassing and raiding them.”

Egan turned fully black and clacked angrily.

“Yes, he’s coming with us. That’s a stupid thing to ask… Egan, did you say anything to Tray about Aiden?”

For once the dragon was silent.

“Egan!”

Maybe. Companion. Kurioden.

“You told him I had a companion then claimed it was Kurio? I ought to choke you.”

The dragon let out a stream of smoke, startled.

I ignored his outburst, at least Tray didn’t know I was with the assassin how tried to kill him yet. I turned my thoughts back to the task at hand. “You mentioned men? Do you know who or when?”

Not who, but soon.

I sighed. “Okay. There is some meat I just cooked if you want some.”

Egan clacked happily and took of more roughly than he really needed too. Pay back for being smart with him. My thoughts were on my brother though. He had given me another mission to complete. That couldn’t have been easy for him. We hadn’t seen each other it what seemed like forever at this point. There was no doubt in my mind he wanted me back at his side as much as I wanted to be there. But if Ricald and the Wild Men were where he thought, I was in the perfect position to stop them from joining Elangsia’s army. It could mean the difference for our country’s survival. That meant the longer separation was one I could handle.

“Deus, you know how much I was looking forward to seeing Tray, I mean, really seeing him. Please, Abba, be with him in this battle. I can’t be by his side to protect him, but you are always there. Please keep him safe. I want to see him again. He must be going crazy not understanding what is happening with me. Help him put it out of his mind and focus. Our friends need his strength and wisdom more than every right now. Be with Mom too. I don’t even know how she is, Deus. But I know she’s strong and wise. Please, just be with them all. And Aiden and I too.

It’s so strange to be fighting on the same side as him, Deus. But I think that was part of Your plan all along, wasn’t it? So, what do you want me to do with him now? You have to show me, because when it comes to Aiden, I’m lost.”

Finished for now, I went to pry more information out of Egan and wait for Aiden’s return.

***

It was dusk when Aiden and Magnar finally landed. Both seemed to be calmer, which was good news for me. Took took all of a second for Aiden to spot Egan, who was lounging on top of Kurioden’s back. He glanced quickly at me and then settled next to the fire, Magnar right behind him.

“Well? What did the famous Hunter command his sister to do?”

“You can stop with the sarcasm,” I responded first, putting more wood into the fire. “Ricald and the Wild Men are heading in our direction. We have men coming up from camp to meet with us so we can go stop them by any means necessary.”

“Any?” Aiden questioned.

I hesitated for only a second, before nodding firmly. “Anything. If they join with Elangsia, we don’t stand a chance. We have to stop them.”

“How many are coming?”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure. Egan was sent off before the men moved out. They shouldn’t be too far behind though. My guess,” I paused to hand Aiden his supper, “is that the number is few. A small band can be just as efficient as large one for a mission like this.”

“And of course, the Hunter’s men are the best.”

I nodded once. “Yes, they are.”

Aiden leaned back against Magnar. “So, Ricald is north of us. I think it’s past time we teach him a lesson. What do you say, Magnar?”

The griffin screeched loudly his agreement.

“We are going after Travon tomorrow, whether the battle starts or not. We may have a way in if it doesn’t, but if it does we’ll take out a few Elangsia men out on our way.”

I nodded. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll have Egan and Kurioden stay back and wait for our men to get here.”

“Our?” He questioned, eyebrows raised.

Did I say that? Oops. “Our, mine, whatever.” I shrugged it off.

A slow amused smile formed on his mouth. “Whose operation is this?”

Deus? What do I do here? What do you want from us?

Follow together.

But, Deus, he doesn’t follow you.

This time there was no answer. I took a deep breath and decided to follow.

“The men will follow my instructions. It will take them a while to learn to follow yours too. But, they’ll learn to trust you when they see I do. We’ll just keep the whole assassin thing to ourselves for now.”

“You trust me?” Aiden asked.

He would latch onto that. “Haven’t we already covered this?”

He laughed. “So, we’ll share the operation?”

I nodded and he smiled at me before saying, “Deal.”

Things were changing yet again.

***

When I woke the next morning, I stood at the edge of the forest with Kurioden at my side. Dawn had barely pierced the night air, yet already I could see sighs of both camps stirring . It was as impressive a sight as it was a horrifying one. Soon, these two mighty forces would collide with no regard for their opponent, except that his life be cut short at the tip of their lance or sword. No matter who would win this battle today, both sides would lose good men.

“Some of the bodies that would lie across this battle field tonight will be my friends.” My voice surprised me in the stillness of the morning. I hadn’t meant to speak out loud.

My own words sent a knife of ice cold terror through my body and a thought I had tried to keep from my mind crossed it yet again. I was a coward for not fighting beside them. My brother may have given me orders, even necessary ones, but my place is in the middle of the battle below. If my friends give their lives on this day, it is my duty to be at their side. Instead, I was forced to play the part no true warrior wants in a battle. I would observe from safety.

Behind me, Aiden stirred and grumbled about something I couldn’t hear. I myself a smile, but it was only a shadow. I would go in to the battle today, but it would be a rescue mission. If we could find the boy, great, if not, I would fight while I could for my country, but more for my friends. In battle, that was they kept you alive, not the banner under which you fought.

“Deus, guide my brother and our friends. Let their swords be swift and their hearts strong and true. And, Deus, if it is your will bring each out of this alive.”

“You honestly thing he hears or cares?” Aiden asked from her shoulder.

It was the first time he had asked seriously about Deus. I felt my heart leap at the small victory. I nodded. “Yes. I know he does.”

“And what if one of your friends doesn’t make it? Will you believe the same then?” His voice held only a trace of its usual mocking.

I felt the cold again at the thought. Dues, give me wisdom. “Yes, even then I will believe that Deus knew things I could not see or understand and He did what was best.”

“And if it is your brother?” He pressed harder.

I felt the lump in my throat, but refused to swallow. “If my brother should die today, he will have given his life fighting for what he loved. And when he awakes, he will be in Deus’ presence. As much as I want Tray here with me, we both look forward to the day we will be in Deus presence with our father.”

I looked at Aiden then, but he was watching the two army’s start their movements to form up.

“You are a strange creature, Kristalyn,” he finally said.

I laughed softly. “Why is that, Aiden?”

He shook his head. “You have faith in a god who gives no guarantees but expects your all, even your life.”

“Guarantees, Aiden? Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen. In that battle down there, before your life is taken, faith is all you will have,” I replied quietly.

“And then the sword enters your body, you won’t even have that,” he answered.

“You won’t need it. You’ll have all the proof you need before your eyes. The problem with waiting until then to make your decision is that it is already too late. Your choice was made and your judgment begins.” Was I getting through at all? Did he understand?

He looked at me. “Will you? Or will you see you’ve given your life for nothing but a dream god?”

“Faith, Aiden, faith.”

He shook his head. “I will have faith in myself, before I believe in a god who requires so much for so little.” He turned and walked back to the camp.

“You’re wrong, Aiden.” I called out, and he paused. “You have it backwards. He gives all and he requires only one thing in return. You.”

He turned and gave me a half smile. “The one thing I will not give.”

I sighed as he walked on. If Aiden died today, he was not ready to meet Dues. Not like my friends were. Suddenly, eternity looked awful bleak if Aiden was not there.

“Spare him, Dues, until he is ready, spare him.”

Kneeling down, I placed my hand on Kurioden’s head. “Come on, Kurio. We need to make sure Aiden makes it out of that battle alive. Dues isn’t finished with him, I’m sure of it.”

Kurioden meowed his agreement and I smiled.

***

The two armies met each other in their death duel only a few hours later. The morning was quickly ripped apart with screams of agony, victory, and challenge. The smell of blood rose up from the scene to assault your scenes no matter where you stood and the body count grew as each minute passed. Swords clashing with hatred rang through the air as fierce men fought for their lives. Helmets, swords, spears, shields, and even horses littered the ground and still hundreds of troops surged over top of them to battle their enemy.

As Aiden, Kurioden, and I edged along the field, with Magnar flying high over head and in front of us, the two full armies became individual solders. Some were should have had grandchildren on their knees telling stories, while others were too young to have ever left home. Older faces, splattered with blood, showed grim determination and the younger ones wore looks shock and fear that told the horror of the day would never be forgotten… if they lived through it. War was no place for anyone and yet countries deemed it necessary and soldiers lost their lives.

Suddenly, Aiden was plunging into the battle, up to now, we had only skirted around.

“Kurioden! Don’t lose him!” I called as I followed and the cat leapt in front of me.

Within seconds, they had been folded into the battle. Quickly, I followed, my sword drawn. It was finally time to fight. I jumped over a dying horse and had to rise my sword quickly to fend off its owner’s lunge. Pushing the sword down, I slashed hard, cutting deep into his neck. I withdrew the sword and moved a step farther to engage the next one in my way. My sword dripped with blood after only a few minutes inside the chaos, but I didn’t pause. Aiden had gotten further ahead of me and I could barely see him and Kurioden. I pushed deeper into the battle and Elangsia’s lines. Each step meant another fight and someone died. I could only be grateful it was not me as I continued to move forward. As I stepped over yet another body I wondered briefly if I knew him, but I didn’t stop to check. There was no time. Later, people would come out to gather all the dead and burn them properly. For now, it was only a bath of blood and hurt. Was this really the only way to gain our freedom?

I heard Aiden’s yell ahead of me and moved quickly towards it. Kurioden leapt from somewhere, only to dash back into the fray. I heaved frustrated, even as I ducked to the right and drove my sword into the unprotected stomach of a man blocking my path. I was going to lose him if I wasn’t more careful. Suddenly, a horse dashed by me, almost crushing me. I jumped back and turned to watch the riderless horse, move forward on a mission of his own. My breath caught.

“Chale?”

I was sure it was Trancred’s horse, but then where was my brother? Frantically, I raced in the direction the horse had come from. A break in the battle lines and I saw a man Tray’s height engaged in a fierce one on one battle. If it was Tray, calling out to him would only distract him.

“Argh!” A yell from behind me, forced me to turn and engage in a quick battle of my own.

The solider attacking me was already tired, though, and I knocked his sword from his hand with ease. Kicking out of the way, when he reached for it, I dropped my sword quickly and cut deep into his arm. He screamed and dropped to the ground holding it, fear in his eyes. I frowned, there was to much death on this field.

Quickly, I turned back only to see, Tray reach down to pick up his helmet and put it back on his head.

“Tray!” I yelled, running forward.

But he had already plunged back into the lines.

“Tray! Wait!” I yelled louder, trying to get to him.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed my wrist and held fast. I turned and swept my sword back at the same time. My assailant ducked and yelled out, “hey!”

Aiden.

“Watch what you’re doing with that thing!”

“Let me go! I saw Tray!”

Aidfen scanned around us. “Where?”

I pointed in the direction that had now been swallowed up again by soldiers fighting. It was impossible to pick only individual out.

Aiden shook his head and Kurioden appeared at my side. “He’s not there now. Let’s go.”

“Wait. Where’s Travon?” I asked, remembering our mission.

“Gone. If he was there at all. We couldn’t spot him anywhere. There’s no one in the shackles, so its possible he’s escaped. Either way, we need to get out of here.”

“But Tray…” I started again to explain.

“Gave you a task to do. We need to move it. Every second we delay, gives Ricald a better chance to get here. Hopefully, the men are waiting for us.” Aiden said, already heading away and pulling me along.

I jerked him back towards me quickly, and raised my sword again barely blocking a blow from a soldier who thought he was being smart.

Aiden snarled and swept his sword up. The blade when deep into the man’s armpit before Aiden pulled it out and then used it to cut into his neck. The blood spilled everywhere, even on Aiden. He sneered disgusted and pushed the man back, where he fell dead.

Aiden tuned back to me. “Move. Now.”

I obeyed.

***

6 Comments:

Blogger Ashley said...

Great chapter!

Suggestion first: it seems like in a couple places you are rushing the story when Aiden and Kristalyn are talking to each other. But perhaps it's supposed to be that way for now. :) They aren't really wanting to communicate on a deep level because neither wants to face their real hearts. But I really liked where Aiden is talking about Wren and he and Kristalyn are talking to their animals.

I thought it was neat that Kristalyn saw her brother Tancred in the battle, and in Zoe's story, she saw her brother Aiden. :) Cool tie-in there. You and Emily are doing an awesome job of working Aiden and Zoe's story together.

Magnar and Egan are both such characters! :) I love 'em both! And I'm glad Aiden is riding Magnar now. ;)

I'm waiting for another great chapter! :)

Readers, pleeeeaaase comment! Then maybe Charissa will post sooner! :P ;)

~ Ashley

2:37 PM  
Blogger Brittany Simmons said...

You know what I loved about this chapter? The whole part right before the battle where Kristalyn and Aiden are talking about faith. I like it not just because I like how you phrased things, but because it encourages me so much. It inspires me, because here you've been through so much, which what happened to Jonathan, and going off to fight in a war, and yet Jesus has pulled you through it all and blessed you with faith. He has remained faithful, and He is perfecting that good work He began in you. That just amazes me. I don't know how I could ever survive all you've been through, but He's showing me through you that He won't abandon me in dark times, but He'll be my fortress and strength.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmm, well... my only pet peeve of this chapter was the number of times you spelled "Deus" as "Dues". :-)

Overall, I thought this was a nice chapter, not my favorite, although it had moments where "the sun shone through" in a manner of speaking. I thought it was a bit odd to have Magnar "see" Travon, and then strangely, Travon disappeared. I hope you will resolve that a little more in the next few chapters.

Thanks.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Ashley said...

I'm commenting again. :) I just read this for a second time. :)

I must have been in a bad mood when I read it the first time. This time I really liked the way you handled the conversations... I always tend to be too flowery and never leave much room for my readers' imaginations. :) I really admire the part where Kristalyn is talking with Aiden about Dues and faith. I always struggle when writing passages like that, trying hard to make them not seem fake or strained. You did a great job!

I just wanted to comment again and tell you my corrected opinion. :) And that you did a good job with this chapter for real - the humor mingled with seriousness. Intensity and times of boredom. Great variety. I also see a big though almost subtle turning point in this chapter. Don't know if it was intended or not, but I saw one. :) I can't wait to find out what happens. Maybe if you post on the Romany Epistles site that you have another chapter of Aiden up, more people will notice it and comment. :)

~ Ashley

1:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another great chapter for Aiden's story. I'm also looking forward to the attack on Ricald and the Wild men and the rescue of Travon. I like Egan's and Magnar's personalities alot too. I can't wait for another chapter so please post soon.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, David commented. Where's our next chapter?

9:53 AM  

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