Hi Everyone! Yes, it is Monday and here is your post! I've been trying to put it up all day, hoping my formatting would stick at some point, but alas it is not to be the case. For some reason, blogger is looking very odd and half my normal tools are gone. So, I apologize for the way this one looks! However, I do believe you shall forgive me when you read this chapter. It has probably what many of you have been waiting for. I must say I have never done it quite this way before so it was a very interesting experience. I hope you will let me know what you think, but mostly that you will enjoy!
One quick note to Britt, I totally agree and you will see that play out more in a later chapter. And Gabi, I loved seeing you comment!


CHAPTER 38 ~ THE TRUTH REALIZED
TWO YEARS TEN MONTHS AND
TWO WEEKS AFTER BANISHMENT
KRISTALYN
The spring weather was finally gracing the plains we traveled over and I couldn’t remember ever being happier to feel the warm wind on my face. It brought the smell of a new season and new happenings. I wondered where that would take us now.
“Kristalyn?” Travon dropped his horse back to match my pace.
I smiled at the youth. He had become quite the young man and I was proud of the decisions he had made of late.
“What is it, Travon?”
“Well, I was wondering. I want to tell Aiden about… you know, what I decided at the cabin. But I don’t know how.”
I nodded. Travon had made the biggest decision of his life at the cabin, but Aiden wouldn’t be pleased. I glanced ahead where Aiden was traveling with the three animals. Kurioden had taken a liking to Aiden ever since he had made the panther the leather protection. While Egan hated traveling with Aiden, he was riding on Kurioden, because he refused to ride with me. I had given him quite a lashing after his attack on Aiden. He was still ticked off at me and it had been over a month ago. The little dragon knew how to hold a grudge and since he was in the wrong he wasn’t going to get an apology.
I shook my head and turned back to Travon’s current problem.
“I don’t think he’ll really react a whole lot,” I mused.
“Yeah, but if he goes all quiet and gets that look on his face, it might be worse.”
“Look?” I asked.
Travon nodded. “Yeah, like he’s trying not to say how disgusted he is, so he just goes blank.”
“Ah, that look.” I hadn’t realized Travon had watched Aiden quite that closely. Of course, he used that impassive look of his to cover much more than just disgust. “He’ll be surprised, but if anything it’s going to make him think more than anything else. And that’s what he needs.”
“I know, but I don’t want him to be upset with me.” The youth’s voice told all of his hesitation to displease the man who was like a father to him.
“I can understand that, Travon. But what is more important: Aiden possibly being upset with you or not giving him the chance to learn the truth about him and yourself?” I spoke gently.
“That doesn’t make it easier,” Travon mused.
“I know, but I also know you can do it. Deus will help you.”
“How?”
“Ask him to help you to say the right words and then trust that he will,” I replied confidently.
“That seems too simple,” Travon muttered.
I laughed. “Saying it is, doing it is harder.”
A grim, determined look came over his face. “I’ll tell Aiden. I will.” Then he glanced at me. “You’ll be with me, right?”
I nodded. “This I want to see.”
Travon sighed. “Me too.”
***
I kept on eye on Travon for the rest of the day, but he didn’t make any move towards Aiden and I didn’t press. When Travon was ready, he’d tell. I wondered what impact that news would have on Aiden’s own path. As we sat around the warmth of the fire, eating a nice meal of rabbit and squirrel, I could tell by Travon’s face he was working up his courage. I waited, silently urging him to speak. Aiden was no help. It had become his style of late to be in a quiet world of his own.
Kurioden padded over to me and I gave him a pat.
“Where have you been?” I asked, curiously.
The panther shook his head and looked at his back. Egan was missing.
“And where is the grouch?”
Kurioden looked at me and gave a soft growl, before settling down more comfortably. I laughed. Hopefully, the little dragon was blowing off steam and would return in a better mood.
“Hey, Aiden?” Travon’s timid voice caused me to look up.
“Yeah?” Aiden asked, obviously not really paying attention.
Travon shot me a look and I gave him an encouraging nod. Then I started praying.
“Uh, Kristalyn was talking to me lots in the cabin about Deus. She said He’s her best friend. Even when everyone else leaves, like Gidryon, He stays. And He might not make everything easier, but He helps you get through it. He helps you pick the right path.” As Travon spoke, he kept his eyes on the fire in front of him, but his voice remained strong.
“What is your point, Travon?” Aiden asked lazily, ripping off another piece of meat from the stick with his teeth.
I shot him a glare, which he pointedly ignored. This was hard for Travon and Aiden wasn’t helping to make it easier.
“Gidryon believed in Deus. He lived his life for Deus and he wanted me to too, but he never pushed me, you know? Kristalyn said it was my choice.” Travon paused to take a deep breath. “I chose Him. I gave Him my life, so Deus is my God now too.”
Aiden froze for just a second, barely even noticeable, but I saw it. He had been struggling so much with this. What would he do now to Travon?
“Quite a choice. Hope it works out for you,” Aiden finally spoke.
That was it? I didn’t know what I had been expecting, but it wasn’t that.
“You could choose too, Aiden.” Apparently, Travon wasn’t done. I was proud of him for that. “Deus gives you a lot more than He demands. He forgives you for everything and all I did was ask. It was like nothin’ ever before. This peace came after I asked Him to take away all my sins and forgive me. And now, I want to do what He wants me to, cuz He picked my best path already.”
It was not Travon that Aiden looked at when he finally looked up. It was me. The look in his eyes said he’d heard ever word that Travon spoke and they had hit their mark, whatever that was. I sent up a quick prayer for help and spoke.
“He’s right, Aiden. And not making a choice is still making a choice for rejecting Deus,” I prodded gently.
His eyes flashed and I wondered if the storm would hit now.
“I know that, Kristalyn.” His voice was tight, but calm. “If Deus wants to give me peace, if he wants me, he will have to wait until I have protected my family.”
“Why can’t you trust Him to do that?” I asked, my heart tearing at his stubborn persistence in rejecting the One Truth.
“He’s never given me a reason too,” was the bland answer.
“He’s given you hundreds. You simply want to secure things your way, even if that way is wrong,” I whispered, feelings of hurt and rejection tearing at me.
“He gave you us,” Travon put in.
Aiden looked at the youth, but whatever he was going to say he swallowed. I was grateful for that, as I had the feeling it would have been rather hurtful. Instead, he replied, “Yes, and that’s great, but he could decide to take you away at any time too. I will not serve at his whim. Not until I’ve protected my family.”
“So, you’ll serve him afterwards?” Travon pounced on Aiden’s last words. The kid was smart.
I looked at Aiden. He sighed, but answered, “I guess it depends on what happens with Duard. I want the proof that your Deus refuses to give.” He stood, and tossed the now empty stick into the fire, before looking at me. “I’m sorry, Kristalyn. I know that’s not what you want.”
He was apologizing? My heart tore a little more at his tone. Aiden might want more proof about Deus, but I was quickly coming to realize the truth about myself. I cared more than I had admitted to myself about this man. What I wanted? I wanted him. Safe, able to forgive and love, and fighting for Deus, not against him.
I stood and faced him. Taking a deep breath, I walked around the fire to stand in front of him. He looked out above my head for a moment and I waited until he lowered his eyes to mine.
“No, it’s not. But, you’re giving old excuses now, Aiden. And this time, I can see through them. Deus has gotten to you. I’ve seen it. When the time comes, I’m going to trust you again, Aiden, to make the correct decision.”
He shook his head slowly. “That didn’t work out so well last time, Kris.”
“Are you sure? You walked away.”
“Ricald threatened my family and I took his head. Duard is the largest threat to them.” Aiden’s voice was cold.
“Then this will be an even bigger test. When the time comes, Aiden, and it will, call out to Deus. Promise me at least that.” I implored, wanting to chase the coldness out of his voice again and bring back the voice of the man I cared about.
His eyes cleared as he focused on me again. “I can’t. In the heat of that time, I don’t know that I will remember.”
Without conscious movement, I took his hand in mine. His eyes widened slightly at the surprise contact, but his fingers tightened on mine.
“Then Deus will call to you. Answer him, Aiden. Promise me you will. Please.”
Aiden’s fingers tightened on mine again and his free hand came up to gently touch my face. In that moment, I knew whatever I was feeling in my heart was clearly written on my face for him to see.
“I promise. For you, Kristalyn, I won’t shut Deus out. But I can’t give you more than that.”
“It’s all I ask,” I breathed in relief, my heart warm and jumping at his endearing comment to do it for me. “Thank you.”
Aiden shook his head and dropped both of his hands. “I hope it brings you peace, because it brings me none.”
I hurt for him, but it did. Whatever his reasons, if he didn’t shut out Deus, then we all had a chance. It was all I could ask him for, though I would pray for so much more.
***
It was the first time we had seen anything other than the plains since we had come out of the mountains almost four weeks ago. The river moved swiftly downstream. It was wide enough that we would need the bridge in front of us to cross it. The horses wouldn’t make it otherwise. Aiden paused at its edge and seemed to drink in the site. Magnar, who had been flying, came to land next to him.
“Know this bridge, you do?”
Aiden nodded and pointed across it. “See the horizon beyond it?”
Magnar nodded and Travon and I pulled our horses to a stop next to them to get a good look for ourselves, Kurioden and Egan with us.
“That dark green spot, directly ahead is Braedoch Forest.” His voice was hushed, almost as if he didn’t believe what he was saying.
“That’s your home!” Travon exclaimed.
Aiden nodded and looked at me. His eyes spoke of anticipation and uncertainty. It was the first time I could so clearly see it. He had to be letting me read them and my heart went out to him. He was almost there. His whole life’s goal was directly in front of him and he had no idea what would happen next. If I had any lingering doubts about coming with him on this trip, they were erased in that single moment.
I smiled encouragingly at him. “Let’s go save your family.”
A smile broke onto his face and his eyes lit with the determination I was so use to seeing. “Right.”
He kicked his heel into his horse and the animal raced across the bridge. Travon quickly followed. Magnar and Egan took to the skies once again and Kurioden and I raced side by side to catch up. We were almost there.
***
That night we set up camp inside the Braedoch Forest. Aiden was agitated and yet more relaxed in the setting he had grown up in. That night, he recalled stories about his family we had only guessed at. Travon and I laughed at tales of aggravating falcons, first baking lessons and their taste tester victims, and trees carved into little saplings for the good of weapons practice.
It was like glimpsing who Aiden was before he had been forced to become the warrior he was now and I loved every minute of it. If only he had been fully with us, the night would have been perfect. In his eyes, I could still see the mission had its own rights. What he was strategizing, I could only guess, but obviously he didn’t want us to worry about him. Night had fallen long ago when he sent everyone to sleep and took the first watch.
It was only once sleep had claimed most of us, that I saw the weight of what was coming settle once again on his shoulders. They hunched over more and even the dim fire light could not conceal the darkening of his features. What was going through his mind and heart I could only guess and none of my guesses were pleasant.
Perhaps he was wondering about his siblings and their reactions to his new persona, or maybe finally driving the sword through Duard’s heart, he might even be arguing with Deus for all I knew. Whatever his thoughts, I prayed Deus brought him peace for the moment. As I drifted off to sleep, my last though was of his smile and laughter as he told of Sam and Zoe attempting to feed berries to some very confused and scared rabbits.
The sun was still rising when I woke the others. Magnar clawed the ground and immediate took off to stretch his wings. The others rose more slowly. I had almost finished re-toasting last night’s meal when the boys all gathered around. Travon was still rubbing his eyes, but his free hand found the food easily enough. Aiden took his and immediately started gathering his things. He was in a hurry now that he was up.
“All right, I’m leaving,” Aiden said firmly.
Travon and I looked up from our meal in surprise.
“You’re what?” I managed, after I swallowed my mouthful.
“I’m leaving. I don’t want either of you involved in whatever happens next. I’ll come back for you when it’s over,” he stated calmly.
“Have you lost it?” I replied, standing quickly. “You’re not leaving without us.”
“Yeah!” Travon jumped in, food completely forgotten.
Aiden shook his head. “No. You’re staying here.”
“Why?” I spouted.
“You don’t know Duard like I do. I don’t want either of you anywhere near him,” Aiden’s voice was hushed, but still firm.
“We appreciate your concern. But we already came this far.” I pointed out, trying logic for a moment.
“We can’t help if we aren’t there!” Travon exclaimed, pushing his hands into the air as if this was obvious.
Aiden turned to face him, ignoring me. Perhaps, he felt he could take us on one at a time better.
“Yes, you can. I need to know your safe and you won’t be if you go with me. The best way you can help is to stay here. Your safe and I can focus better,” Aiden actually explained.
“I know how to fight,” Travon growled, crossing his arms over his chest in an angry manner.
“I’m well aware of that, Travon. I taught you. But this is different from all the battles you’ve been in. There is only one enemy and I’m the only one who will be fighting him. If your there, he’ll use you as a distraction against me.” Aiden shook his head, frustration evident. “I can’t afford that.”
“But Aiden!” Travon protested again.
“This is not the type of fight either one of us is use too. I’ll need all my concentration to be focused. It has nothing to do with your fighting skills, Travon. You are one of the best fighters I know. And I’m sure we will fight together again, but not this time. Stay here. Guard the horses, I’ll go on foot. Keep them and Kristalyn safe.” Aiden’s voice held all the regard he would for a younger fellow warrior and Travon seemed to grow under his rarely given praise, though he obviously still didn’t like the outcome.
Travon glanced at me, but I was looking at Aiden.
“You mean take care of the horses and himself,” I corrected.
Aiden sighed. “Kristalyn…”
“Do not even start.” I stated. “I will not be left behind when you might need me.”
“I just said…”
“Nothing that applies to me. You might fight Duard by yourself, but you’ll need me on the sidelines incase something happens. You are not leaving me here.” No matter what he said, I was not backing down.
“You’ll still be a distraction. You are not…” Aiden tried again.
“I most certainly am. What if something happens to you, Aiden? I didn’t stick with you to just forsake you at the last second.” I took a deep breath and Aiden cut me off.
“You’re not forsaking me, Kristalyn. You’re doing what I ask.”
“Well, what you’re asking is wrong and you know it. You can’t force me to stay behind. You know you can’t. I bet your taking Magnar with you. Who else do you think can keep me here? And I can get around him too. Try it and find out, Aiden,” I challenged.
Aiden sighed. “You are the most stubborn, frustrating women ever born.”
“I’m just as bad as you,” I responded calmly.
“Kristalyn, you are not listening to me. I do not want you there,” Aiden said, pressing his point.
This time I heard the pain in his voice and I recognized it for what it was.
“You’re scared,” I whispered. I took a step closer to him and lowered my voice. “You don’t want me to see what happened with Ricald again. But it won’t. And if by same chance it does, I won’t turn away. I’m staying with you, Aiden, so get use to it.”
He shook his head. “If something happens to you…”
“It won’t. I trust you and Deus. I’ll be safe. I want to be with you, Aiden. Please, don’t ask me to stay behind.” As I allowed my emotions to flood my eyes, I saw his change to acceptance.
He nodded. “Okay.” He gripped my arm. “I won’t tell you ‘no.’ It won’t do me any good anyway.” I shrugged. “But you have to stay back. I honestly don’t know what is about to happen.”
“I’ll back you up whatever happens.”
Aiden gazed down at me and for a moment I lost all thought as his shale blue eyes drew me in demanding my attention. My heart caught in my throat at their intensity. Here was the man I knew. He would fight for what he loved and he would protect it at all cost. Suddenly, that included me.
Just as quickly as he grabbed me, he let go and took a step back. “Let’s go then.” He turned to Travon. “Watch out for bandits and be careful. No matter what happens, by nightfall, one of us will be back for you.”
Travon nodded. “Deus go with you, Aiden.”
Aiden paused, then answered, “And you, Travon.”
He glanced at me and took off into the woods. I shook myself and gave Travon a smile. “Keep Egan here with you. He’d be bad news to take along. Come, Kurioden!” And we followed Aiden.
Magnar flew above us and the treetops as we moved and it didn’t take us long to catch up. Aiden glanced at me when we did and we walked together in silence. My mind was anything but silent though. It was filled with thoughts of the coming confrontation, but mostly of the man beside me. As we moved through his beloved woods, my mind retraced the steps we had taken to get to this very spot. When we had met, it was as enemies and we had stayed that way for so long. Had he decided to kill my brother, I didn’t know where we would be now, but he had seen the similarities between himself and Tray and instead this warrior enemy had become an ally. He stood at my side and fought next to me to save a country that wasn’t even his own. He had taken out the man that had hurt my family the most. And through it all, he’d asked for nothing, but tried to build up his own skill. Through his own pain and sometimes despite his attitude, he had reached out to others lost and hurting and given them hope, including Travon, Magnar, and myself.
I knew of no other man in the world who had done what Aiden had. Even trying to overcome his own demons, he reached out to those beyond him and changed them as well. Without ever intending too, or even wanting too, he had claimed the loyalty and love of those who he allowed to stay close to him.
Magnar and Travon obviously did love him. But what of me? What love did I have for this man? It certainly wasn’t the same. Aiden had grown to mean much more to me than just a close friend. But could I actually love him? Or did I already?
Aiden paused to hold back a branch from swinging back too fast. I smiled as I passed him and he nodded absently. It was a caring act that was so unlike the Aiden I had first met. Yet this Aiden knew me, unlike anyone I had ever met. Early on, he could read my thoughts and facial expression. No secret was safe from him. He used it to his own advantage and yet he used it for mine as well. No one had ever been able to see inside me, reading me as if they knew me intimately and yet Aiden could. What made him so special? Why of all the good people I had met was he the only one who could really see me and understand?
Without knowing why, I knew he could and it still meant trouble for me, even as it had then. I knew when he had told me he was leaving and to forget him… no, before that, when he had tried to kill himself. I shook my head at myself. It wasn’t a single moment, but many. It was when he looked at me so intently, when he allowed himself to touch me, if only briefly, when he spoke to me as his equal and confident, when he had asked me with those shale blue eyes not to leave him, when he had taken care of Kurioden, and more recently, when he had told me he felt like the opposite of Tray, Tray being who Aiden could have been had things only happened differently. They all added together and each time, each moment, I had lost myself a little more to him. I had known it was happening, known that if I stayed with him, I would not be able to stop it. I had even pleaded to Deus to take away my growing feelings and for some reason He had deliberately chosen not too.
I tried to deny it, even back at the cabin, but somewhere deep inside of me I had known. Just as I did now. Yet, there was one large difference between then and now. I wasn’t going to lose him to something beyond himself back then, now I very well could. If Duard was as powerful as Aiden feared, Aiden might lose his life. If Aiden did win the fight, how he won it would determine everything in his life from that moment on. I had no control over what would happen next, I could only pray to the Almighty Deus that Aiden would make the right choice. Because if he didn’t… if he didn’t, I would lose the man I loved.
I glanced out the side of my eye to see Aiden’s face as he walked beside me, concentration evident on his face and oblivious to all else. For the moment, that was a good thing. I didn’t want him to read my face and I was sure a new emotion was playing across it.
I loved him.
I couldn’t deny it any longer. I had known it was coming, had realized I was falling in love with him, and I had tried to pass it off as caring for him more than what I should. That had been true, but I couldn’t stop it from growing into something much more. He had done what no one else in my world had accomplished. He had made me fall in love with him.
I wanted to be happy about it, to feel the joy that being in love should have brought, but I couldn’t. I knew I loved him with everything in me, my entire being wanted to be with this man, to stay and cherish every second, and have him love me wholly back, yet what I felt was the anxiety of the unknown and the pain of the truth. Aiden didn’t love me, wasn’t capable of loving me as I desired, not yet. And what’s more, even if he did, it wouldn’t matter.
He was marching to take his revenge or die trying. I had promised Deus I would never marry a man that did not hold Him first. And Aiden did not. He had promised only that if Deus called, he wouldn’t shut him out, but he had made it clear he did not want Deus to guide him. He refused to put Deus first above his family and Deus would not accept second place, He never did. No matter how I felt, the same challenge was still in place. I could not be with a man who did not place his trust in Deus, no matter how much I loved him.
The thought brought actual tears to my eyes, tears of both love and pain and the knowledge I could do nothing about either. I had made all my choices. Now, everything was left up to Aiden.
He slowed in front of me and stared ahead for a moment. I blinked the tears away and saw shadows of a few small structures and one larger one inside the large clearing. Aiden was home. He turned to face me.
“Kristalyn, I… Kristalyn, what is it?” Aiden pulled my shoulders around so I faced him fully. “You’re crying.”
“No, I’m not,” I protested. I had stopped a few seconds before.
Aiden gave me a doubtful look. “You were. Are you okay?”
I nodded.
“Did you get hurt?” I was amazed. His home was so close and he was fully focused on me.
“Not by anything in the forest,” I managed.
Aiden frowned. “What did I do?”
I choked out a laugh. “Nothing, Aiden. You haven’t done a thing.” I nodded to the buildings, desperately needing to change the subject. “Is that it?”
His face searched mine again for what had caused me to cry. But when he was finished I wasn’t sure if he had seen the answer or not. Finally, he turned back.
“Yes. That was home. It’s been almost three years now that we were forced to leave. It’s taken me that long to come back.” The self-reproach was evident.
“But you did come back. And now you’re going to fight.”
Aiden glanced at me. “Fight and win.”
“There are more ways to do that than one.”
“Not with Duard,” Aiden spoke grimly.
“Remember your promise, please. Call on Deus. Don’t shut Him out.” I opted for one last plea. Everything in my life and his centered on his next few moments.
Aiden took a deep breath and let it out slowly then he turned to catch my eyes with his. “I’ll do as I promised and I promise nothing else. You need to do that as well. Stay out of the way and safe.”
His eyes were dark with emotions and I allowed myself to become lost in them. I could see his love for his family, his determination, and his anger towards the man who had condemned them all. But beyond even that, I could see his concern for me and it was that which I clung too the most. He cared about me, he might not love me, but I knew he cared. What if this was the last time I would see his eyes like this? What if I lost him?
Despair rose quickly inside of me. I couldn’t. Not without him knowing the truth.
“Aiden, I have too…” but his finger on my lips stopped me.
“Shh. I know.” He moved his finger to my check. “You can tell me when this is over. I’ll finish it here and we’ll move on.” He took a step back from me, allowing his hand to fall, but I didn’t move. “Stay to the shadows. I don’t want him to even know you are here.”
With that, Aiden turned and walked boldly into the clearing. I pulled my knife from its sheaf and followed more slowly, staying closer to the small buildings than he did. This was it.
“Deus, guide him.” I whispered as I moved. “It’s selfish, Deus, but please bring me back the man I love.”
***